How to Stop Buying Stuff You Don't Need (UNLESS YOU DO IT RIGHT)
- saradiconza
- 10 hours ago
- 11 min read
Why Do We Buy Stuff We don’t Need?
We’ve all been there: scrolling through an online store, wandering through a mall, or spotting that enticing sale sign.
Before you know it, you've bought something you didn’t really need—again.
You might even ask yourself later, “Why did I buy this?” and struggle to find a logical answer.
This isn’t just a one-off occurrence; for many of us, it’s a regular pattern.
So, why do we keep buying things that we don’t really need?
At first glance, it might seem like a simple case of wanting more. But the reasons behind unnecessary purchases are much more complex and deeply rooted in our psychology, emotions, and even the way our brains are wired.
Here are some of the most common reasons:
Marketing and consumer culture
We live in a world that constantly tells us to want more, to be more, and to buy more. Modern marketing is designed to tap into our psychology, making us feel that happiness, success, and fulfilment are just one purchase away. Advertisers don’t just sell products; they sell aspirations—the belief that owning something new will transform your life (meaning: you are not enough just as you are).
Consider how many ads you see in a day: on social media, in emails, on billboards, and even subtly embedded in movies and TV shows.
Every piece of marketing is crafted to make you feel that what you have isn’t enough, that there’s always something better, shinier, or more fashionable that will elevate your status, appearance, or lifestyle.
The promise of upgrades is another powerful marketing tactic. We’re constantly bombarded with messages that encourage us to replace perfectly good items with newer versions, even when the old one works just fine.
This taps into a deeper desire for novelty, feeding the idea that we need to continually improve or update our possessions to stay relevant or satisfied.
The instant gratification trap
One of the most powerful drivers behind impulsive purchases is our brain’s craving for instant gratification. When you see something you want your brain immediately kicks into reward mode.
The act of buying triggers a release of dopamine, the chemical responsible for feelings of pleasure and reward. Dopamine isn’t just released when you actually purchase the item; it’s activated during the anticipation of the purchase itself. From the moment you see that product and imagine owning it, your brain starts to associate the object with a pleasurable outcome. This rush of dopamine creates an intense desire for the item, and the more you think about it, the stronger the urge becomes.
Social pressure and comparison
Another reason we buy things we don’t need comes from the pressure to keep up with others.
Social media, in particular, has amplified this tendency. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok show us a constant stream of people living seemingly perfect lives, filled with new clothes, luxurious trips, fancy gadgets, and beautiful homes.
This curated reality can make us feel like what we have is not enough (meaning: we are not enough).
When we see others with something new or trendy, we might feel pressure to keep up, even if we didn’t initially want or need the item.
This FOMO (fear of missing out) convinces us that by not having the latest thing, we’re somehow missing out on happiness, success, or belonging.
This social pressure extends beyond just keeping up with trends. For many, buying things can be a way to signal status or success—whether it’s a designer bag, the newest tech, or even experiences like high-end dining or travel. We may unconsciously believe that by owning or displaying these items, we’re projecting a certain image or gaining social approval, even though the purchase itself might not bring us personal satisfaction.
Emotional spending: filling a void
We don’t just buy things for their practical use—we often buy to fill emotional voids.
Whether we’re feeling stressed, anxious, lonely, or even bored, shopping can serve as a temporary distraction or relief.
This is what’s known as emotional spending, where the purchase is driven by a need to soothe or escape uncomfortable emotions.
When life feels overwhelming or out of control, buying something new can create a sense of momentary empowerment or comfort. It’s a way to distract ourselves from difficult feelings we’d rather not deal with. Unfortunately, this coping mechanism is temporary. The emotional high from a purchase is short-lived, and it often leads to a cycle of feeling bad about spending, followed by more shopping to soothe the guilt or discomfort.
In these moments, shopping acts like a quick fix for deeper emotional needs. The shiny new object may take your mind off your worries for a short time, but it can’t resolve the underlying issues, and soon enough, the void reopens, driving the desire for the next purchase.
The illusion of self-transformation
One of the most subtle yet powerful reasons behind unnecessary purchases is the belief that buying something will transform who we are.
We don’t just buy stuff to have stuff—we buy things because, consciously or unconsciously, we believe that owning them will make us better versions of ourselves.
We tell ourselves that the new outfit will make us more attractive, the high-end gadget will make us more productive, or the home décor will make us feel more put-together. And by doing so, we give our personal power away. We project our power onto stuff.
While possessions can certainly enhance aspects of our lives, they can’t fundamentally change who we are.
This belief leads us to project our desires for fulfillment onto material things, thinking that owning them will bring about the changes we seek in ourselves. But here’s the truth: no item can make you a different person. Sure, nice clothes or accessories can help reinforce positive feelings like confidence, abundance, or success, but they cannot create those feelings. The issue arises when we expect the item itself to deliver those emotions, because it won’t.
When the thrill of the purchase fades, we often realize that we’re still the same person, with the same underlying feelings and insecurities.
Ok, but I Actually Enjoy Owning All This Stuff...
The feeling of joy and excitement from owning nice things is a very real part of the human experience, and it’s important not to dismiss that outright. However, it’s also worth encouraging deeper reflections on what exactly is giving us joy—is it the item itself, or is it the process, the momentary thrill, or something more?
It’s true that owning things, especially things we find beautiful or meaningful, can bring joy. Material items can absolutely enrich our experience and we shouldn't dismiss the fact that they can make us feel good, bring convenience, and even express our personalities. This is part of human nature.
However, the key is to understand if owning things is having a negative impact on your life.
Start by asking yourself:
“Is the act of purchasing stuff something I could easily give up?”
If the answer is no, there might be a deeper issue to explore. But if the answer is yes, and it’s something you can walk away from without much struggle, then ask yourself a second question:
“Is my shopping creating financial issues, preventing me from saving, doing other things I’d love to do, or causing stress around money?”
Reflect on how much you might save if you reduced your spending, and consider whether that money could be used in a more beneficial way, such as investing in your future, experiences, or personal growth.
Now, if you find that your shopping habits are not impacting your budget at all, and your finances are stable, then perhaps shopping and buying things is a genuine value of yours—something you truly enjoy and derive lasting satisfaction from. In that case, it’s probably not something to be overly concerned about.
However, if you’re reading this, there’s likely a part of you that feels like something is off with your shopping habits.
That inner discomfort might be a sign that, even if the financial impact isn’t severe, your shopping may be filling an emotional void or masking other unresolved issues.
Just remember, the goal here is not to deny ourselves things that bring pleasure, but to make sure we’re buying for the right reasons—from a place of awareness and clarity.
However, if shopping has become a habit that affects our finances or emotional well-being, and we find ourselves needing to make constant purchases to feel satisfied, that’s when the cycle of addiction can become problematic.
Wait, did you say addiction?!
Okay, this may come off a bit harsh, and it might even trigger you. But my intention is not to provoke you—it's to bring awareness to the mechanisms of our subconscious mind.
We often overlook how deeply ingrained certain habits and behaviours are in our lives, and one of the biggest blind spots we have as a society is our understanding of addiction. When we hear the word "addiction" most of us think immediately of substances like drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.
But here’s the truth: addiction is far more pervasive than we realize, and it shows up in many everyday behaviours.
If we pause for just a second and really think about it, we will see that all of us, yes, all of us, are addicted to something.
For some, it might be chocolate, social media, or compulsive shopping.
For others, it could be toxic relationships, working long hours to stay busy, or even the constant need for external validation.
The reality is that addiction isn't limited to obvious vices like drugs or alcohol; it exists on a spectrum and can manifest in countless, often more subtle, ways.
At its core, addiction is any coping mechanism that we use to fill a void or numb ourselves from feelings we don’t want to feel.
It’s a psychological tool we employ to avoid confronting uncomfortable emotions like sadness, anxiety, emptiness, or boredom. These feelings can be distressing, so we turn to external sources—whether it’s shopping, eating, working excessively, or chasing the next relationship—to distract us or soothe the discomfort.
But, just like with any other addiction, the relief is always temporary.
The soothing feeling fades, we’re left feeling the same or we might be left with guilt, shame, or regret for indulging in a behaviour that didn’t truly serve us. So the cycle begins again: feel bad, seek relief, feel temporary pleasure, and then fall back into the same uncomfortable state.
It’s important to understand that, like anything else in life, addiction exists in gradients. For some people, the addiction may be obvious and fully developed, disrupting their lives in significant ways. For others, it may be much more subtle, but still present.
This doesn’t mean it’s any less worthy of attention.
Even if your behaviour is barely noticeable, the deeper cause remains the same.
We’re not just trying to stop the behaviour; we’re trying to uncover the emotional drivers behind it.
Identify Your Spending Triggers
Understanding why you feel the urge to spend is a crucial step in controlling impulse purchases.
By identifying your spending triggers, you can recognize the underlying emotions or situations that prompt you to buy things you might not need.
Every time you feel the urge to buy something, take a few minutes to grab a journal or piece of paper and reflect on the following questions:
What am I feeling right now? Am I stressed, excited, bored, or anxious?
What led me to think about making this purchase? Was it an ad, a conversation, or something I saw?
Is this urge to buy related to something I recently experienced, like a stressful day or a good achievement?
Am I trying to reward myself for something? If so, what?
Is this purchase motivated by a desire to feel a certain way, like happier, more successful, or more attractive?
How would I feel if I didn’t buy this item right now?
Am I trying to distract myself from an uncomfortable feeling or situation?
Did I see someone else with this item, and do I feel a need to have it too?
Is there a sense of urgency (like FOMO) driving this purchase?
Do I want to buy this because it makes me feel in control or empowered in some way?
Am I buying this as a way to boost my confidence or self-esteem?
Do I already own something similar that serves the same purpose?
If I wait 24 hours, do I think this urge will still be as strong?
Have I set a budget for purchases like this, and am I within that budget?
What would my future self think about this purchase?
To break the cycle of impulsive shopping, we need to shift our mindset.
Instead of believing that owning something will bring about positive feelings, we need to recognize that those feelings must already exist within us.
When you shop from a place of inner confidence, joy, and abundance, the things you buy simply act as enhancers, not solutions.
The goal isn’t to eliminate shopping altogether. Instead, it’s to make sure that your purchases come from a place of already embodying the feelings you want to reinforce, rather than expecting material things to create those feelings for you.
Here’s the important distinction:
If you buy something from a place of already feeling confident or abundant, the item becomes a tool to express or support that feeling.
But if you’re buying something to fill a void or because you think it will create those feelings for you, it won’t. You’ll end up disappointed, looking for the next fix, and repeating the cycle.
Shopping isn’t inherently bad. In fact, it can be fun, exciting, and sometimes even necessary. But the key is being aware of where you’re coming from when you make that purchase.
Are you trying to distract yourself from negative emotions or projecting your power onto stuff?
Or are you shopping from a place of already feeling whole and using the purchase as an enhancement of that feeling?
By becoming aware of the psychology and beliefs driving our shopping habits, we can shift from mindless consumption to intentional, mindful purchasing—where we stop buying stuff we don’t need and start aligning our purchases with the person we already are.
Practical Tips
1 - Use a Wish List
Instead of buying on the spot, use one a Wish List. Doing this gives you time to reflect on whether you really want and need the item. You can find Mindful Wish Lists here.
2 - Rediscover Forgotten Items
Sometimes, our things get buried or forgotten. Go through closets, drawers, or storage spaces to rediscover items you haven’t used in a while. See if you can put them back into use or find new ways to appreciate them.
By regularly practicing gratitude, you shift your mindset from wanting more to appreciating what’s already there.
3 - Appreciate What You Have
So often, we buy things we’ve wanted for a long time—things we’ve saved for, planned for, and even dreamed about owning. When we finally make the purchase, there’s that initial excitement, and for the first few days, weeks, or maybe even months, it feels special.
But what was once a treasured new item becomes just another thing we own.
Taking time to appreciate the things we already own can bring a sense of joy and satisfaction, reducing the desire to keep buying more.
Go through your items—whether it’s your clothes, accessories, gadgets, or home décor. Look at each item carefully, and think back to how much you wanted it before it became yours. Acknowledge the journey you went through to acquire that item. Maybe you saved up for it over months, or perhaps you waited until it was just the right time to buy it.
Recognize that each thing you own represents time, effort, and intention.
When you appreciate what you have, you might find that you already own everything you need to feel content and fulfilled.
Remember, gratitude begins as a conscious choice and can grow into the most rewarding habit you can develop.
4 - Use the Price-Time Conversion Technique
To make more intentional purchases, convert the price of an item into the hours of work it costs you. For example, if you earn £20 per hour and a pair of shoes costs £100, ask yourself: "Is this pair of shoes worth five hours of my work?".
By converting the cost into work hours, you’ll become more conscious of what you’re really sacrificing to make that purchase.
5 - Unsubscribe from Temptation
To avoid unnecessary buys, you need to reduce temptation.
Unsubscribe from marketing emails that promote sales, discounts, and new arrivals.
Turn off push notifications from shopping apps.
Unfollow accounts that lead you to unnecessary spending.
6 - Set a Spending Limit
Establish a daily or weekly spending limit for non-essential purchases. This way, you give yourself the freedom to buy things—but only within a defined boundary.
7 - Introduce No-Spend Days or Weeks
Designating specific days or weeks where you don’t spend money on non-essentials helps build discipline and encourages mindful consumption.
Choose certain days of the week or a full week every month to avoid spending on non-essential items.
Over time, see if you can increase to full “No-Spend Weeks” without feeling deprived.
If you're ready to shift your habits, rewire your mindset, and make more conscious, aligned financial decisions, I’ve created a set of simple, easy-to-use tools to help you do just that.
It includes 6 easy-to-use spreadsheets designed to help you make intentional purchasing decisions, build healthy money habits, and reshape your money mindset while budgeting.
Other Resources:
✤ Budgets
✤ Bundles
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